Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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