I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
