New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You made out with two different species that night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
