he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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