apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
