ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
