I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
