Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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