Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
