I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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