new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
