Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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