White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
