the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
