Screwed.edu
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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