come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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