I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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