I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
