As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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