i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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