He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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