I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
