he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
