Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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