i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
