just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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