brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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