Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
