Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
