Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
