So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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