It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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