well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
