Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
