thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
