i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
