Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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