I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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