take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
