Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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