Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
