she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize