It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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