The maid of honor just puked.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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