Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
