If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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