Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
