32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
