just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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