I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
