Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
