did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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