Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
